I am forgotten as a dead man out of mind, I am like a broken vessel. (Psalm 31:12)I’m tired of being strong! Weary of being a leaning post. If people really knew how weak I was, they would never look to me for support.
But I am afraid to tell them!
Afraid to let them know I hurt, too. I don’t want them to know that I struggle with some of the same problems they do. It makes me looks so good, so spiritual to pretend…YUK!
Have I made myself appear to others as a great pillar of strength, a spiritual authority standing with outstretched arms, inviting people to look to me??
I dare not tell them what I really am!
Perhaps, I should hide the fact behind a gilded (to make appear bright and attractive, to make something seem more attractive or more valuable than it is) layer of superficial piety.
If they only knew how fragile I was, how easily broken, they would not believe in me again.
Perhaps, perhaps not?
Maybe confession is what is needed. To allow myself to be exposed. Broken! Then there would be no reason for others to come to me or hold me in esteem.
Yes, that’s it. Brokenness is what is needed~to lose the pieces of my own identity. Let self be lost so a new person can emerge.
One that is honest, glued together with love, unafraid to be exposed and obviously human.
Let us not therefore judge one another any more; but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way. (Romans 14:13)
My mind was ruffled with small cares today. And I said pettish words, and did not keep long~suffering patience well, and now how deep my trouble for this sin! In vain I weep for foolish words I never can unsay.
H. S. Sutton
Father, forgive me when a cause of annoyance and distress arises and my expressions of impatience hinders from taking it patiently. Disappointment, ailment, even weather depresses me, and my look or tone of depression hinders others from maintaining a cheerful and thankful spirit. I say an unkind thing, and another is hindered in learning the holy lessons of love that thinks no evil. I say a provoking thing, and my sister or brother is hindered in that day’s effort to be meek. I am sorry when I do those things Papa!
How sad too, I may hinder without word or act! For wrong feeling is more infectious than wrong doing; especially the various phases of ill temper, gloominess, touchiness, discontent, irritability…
Do I not know how catching these are?
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
(Matt. 5:16b)
